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The Slanderer staff is taking some time off. We'll be back with weekly updates after Christmas. In the meantime enjoy the archives.
Entertainment
Penthouse Obtains Pre-Fame Nudes Of
Osama Bin Laden
Penthouse publisher Bob Guccioni Jr. announced yesterday that he had purchased through an unnamed source several naked pictures and a movie of Osama bin Laden before the terrorist became somewhat of a celebrity. All the photos and clips of the movie will appear in the Christmas edition of Penthouse, due out later this month. “We’re very excited about this,” said Guccioni,” I mean, there’s our enemy laying naked before us on a bear skin rug. It very hard to tell where the rug ends and bin Laden begins, but he’s there I tell you.” Reports out of Kabul state that bin Laden had tried to purchase the photos back but was unsuccessful. “He’s very embarrassed about this thing, especially the scene with the turban and the camel. He was only in college, you know.”
More Entertainment
Yakov Smirnoff Enjoying Comeback As Muslim
Comedian Mohamed Al Smira
Famous Cold War comedian Yakov Smirnoff’s career tumbled with the Berlin Wall, but he’s now on the comeback trail. “Yes, many people did not know that I was originally from Afghanistan before moving to communist Russia. America is so great, in America everything is so modern, in Afghanistan the Ak-47’s are so old they’re made out of wood. In America the women are so beautiful, but in Afghanistan they need to wear veils so the men don’t kill them thinking they’re men.” Al Smira states he’s only a tour manager and bookings away from a major tour of the US.
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Killer Holds Town In Endless
Reign of Blood and Terror
Police Spokesperson Art Shelley confirmed to reporters that a serial killer was at large in the normally sleepy town of Middleton, Ohio. Said Shelley, “Yeah, I guess the same guy is probably killing these college girls, it seems, I don’t know, likely, maybe even more than likely, the uh, MO is the same, strangulation, which is pretty common anyway. We’d be more positive if he was, I mean, if the killings were dynamic in some way, like gruesome or occult like or something, but this guy, yeah, he strangles the girls, which is effective, definitely, but not that interesting really. If he was, maybe doing something cool, I mean sick, like taking their heads, well, the national press would like that and we’d probably get some guys from Quantico down here. Not that I’m complaining, ‘cause those federal guys always steal the spotlight, I’ve been told anyway, but without a spotlight they don’t show right? Anyway, this guy’s been killing for maybe six months or so, a real uh, reign of terror, so we thought we’d tell you about it, for your safety and stuff. It seems he, um, hangs out in the bushes and stuff, we don’t really know, but then he attacks the girls, takes them somewhere secluded and then kills them. Or maybe he kills them, then takes them somewhere. Bernie, the forensic guy, he’s not really sure. We’ve found some shoe prints around the site of the attacks and it’s pretty obvious the killer is wearing shoes, somewhere between sizes 8 and 13, uh, men’s size, of course. The chilling part is after the girls are dead, probably after anyway, the killer, he leaves their bodies, totally, um, untouched. Most killers take souvenirs, the popular guys anyway, well, not popular, but the guys you hear about, they like to take stuff. This guy doesn’t though, which isn’t weird at all. Bernie, the forensic guy, he says that Hollywood dramaticises… dramaticises?… glamorizes!, that Hollywood glamorizes these guys and that they aren’t like that in real life. But this guy, nobody’s going to make a movie about him. We’re, anyway, we’re trying to catch him with all our, well, most of our available manpower. The uh, there’s coffee over there and pastry’s, if you’re hungry. Our forensic specialist Bernard O’Toole will be talking, where is Bernie?, oh, okay, anyway, he’ll be going over some of the evidence he’s found, which includes a Patrick Roy rookie card he found in the woods, no, really, it’s pretty faded but with the scanner thing in the basement you can totally make out his picture. Uh, thanks.”
Funny Links:
Digital Comedy Nipple
Humorsource.com
FALnet - Humor For Smart People With Bad Taste
Gesellschaft University
Comedy On Tap
The Funny Page
Real Humour - The UK Humour Portal
The Humour UK Network
HumorLinks.com
TheFunniest
theFunniestPics.com
Mate in a State
Fun Dimension
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