Although many citizens of Afghanistan look upon the bombing of their country by America as another in a long list of tragedies, many are also enjoying the change of pace. “Their bombs are so colorful, it’s a nice change.” Said one now homeless Afghani mother. “We had grown so used to those vodka swilling Russians, and killing your own is so, uh, monotonous. But yesterday our village was destroyed by some cluster bombs and a, uh, tomahawk? It was so neat. Don’t get me wrong, I wish nothing but the worst of death’s for these filthy American GI’s, but I am also impressed by their fancy painted war machines.”

Betty MacGregor informed friends and family that her son Irving had joined the Navy. “Oh. I’m so proud,” said Mrs. MacGregor, “Irving’s always been so interested in other cultures. We should get him a camera as a going away present. His father’s a navy veteran himself and Irving already knows how to translate “district,” “light,” and “red” into six different languages.”