Excited and jubilant coworkers gathered around Gene Butcher’s desk and presented him with their combined birthday present yesterday, a year’s membership to Alton’s Gun Club, just around the corner from where they work. “It seemed like a good idea,” said Bill Fullarton, “he’s quiet and kinda shy, but when you get to know him he’s really got some issues to work out…his abandoning mother, his abusive father…his successful brother who disowned him…that ex-wife of his who left him for Dan in human resources…oh, and that lady who accused him of stalking her. Well, This should let him blow off some steam.”

Mary Demelo, Butcher’s supervisor, thought the membership could improve productivity. “A couple of times a month he freaks out and we’ll find him in the Fetal Position under his desk. When I need that stuff done today, I mean today, not when you’re mentally healthy. I think he internalizes a lot of his anger. This gun thing will allow him to find a target and reach it, you know, six bullets, six kills, things like that. We were going to get him a video game but that stuff’s pretty violent.”

Janine Lawton, receptionist for their department, took credit for coming up with the idea. “I really think it’ll draw him out, you know, he’ll meet some new people and maybe get involved with the various special groups the club has, like the Vietnam Revivalist’s or the Dirty Harry’s. We were going to get him a gym membership but Phil thought we’d be saying he was fat, though you can hardly tell with his heavy beard, disheveled hair and the baggy, wrinkled and soiled clothing he wears.”