31 Aug 2001 | UPDATED WEEKLY

Literature

New Marvel Superhero Never Gets Hangovers, Chicks Believe All His Stories

New York City -- In an effort to keep up with the times, Marvel Comics has created a new superhero who’s set of skills is more admired in today’s youth than saving the world. Exciting new character Bullshit Man will never get hangovers, always have well coifed hair and chicks, especially good looking ones, will always believe his stories despite their obvious flaws. According to creator Jack Harrington, “He’ll be completely different from the other superheroes, who usually have an enigmatic quality about him. Bullshit Man is an open book, a shallow pond, so to speak. There’ll be no secrets here. His most remarkable superpower will be his ‘Please Don’t Fuck Me Up Ring’, which he’ll use on other guys when he’s flirting with their girlfriend. His nemesis is Millionairus, a crude and ugly man who’s wealth and power are used to lure away Bullshit man’s chicks. We were trying to avoid the typical goofy superhero costume but it was unavoidable for Bullshit Man, who’ll be decked out head to foot in Tommy Hilfiger clothing.”

Local Theater Review

Beautiful Southern Culture Comes Alive in Oedipus Bubba

Dodge County, Georgia -- Screenwriter Betsy Connaught and Director Drew Mornington combine forces brilliantly in the soon to be stage classic Oedipus Bubba. Set in rural Georgia, Claire Davis gives a marvelous performance as Larleen Jackson, a southern woman who gave her baby up for adoption at the tender age of fourteen. Joel Ashton plays her cousin and husband Duke, likely father of two of their children, while Drew Borste is Eddy, their son given up to adoption years before, but also Duke’s rival in the county demolition derby. Only after Eddy has slain Duke in the derby and married Larleen does he learn that she is his mother and Duke (likely anyway) his father. Luckily this beautifully crafted story ends happily as Eddy and Larleen realize it’s socially acceptable in their particular region to be mother and son, husband and wife. Such a beautiful and happy ending. Bravo!


God Quits Anger Management Therapy, Likely to Become Vengeful Again Real Soon

God’s anger management therapist Kenny Guerrero confirmed yesterday that the deity had indeed quit his class. “I don’t think this is anything to worry about, really,” said Guerrero, who has put his house on the market and bought a large sailboat, “It’s just a little bump in the road. For every few steps forward, there may be a step backward.” Guerrero explained that many of his clients quit before coming back. “I’ll bet he’ll been on the phone begging to return before I can pack these 20 crates of Spam into the boat’s hold.” Guerrero’s wife Angelina shared her husband’s optimism. “Some day we’ll all look back and laugh at how silly Kenny and I look in these asbestos suits.”

God’s Press Secretary Renee Vachon explained that the deity had indeed left the class and was contemplating his options. “He’s just a touch upset that people didn’t come around on their own, that’s all. Sure, let them have a couple of centuries of sin, you know, get it out of their system, then they’ll come back. That’s what he kept saying, anyway. Well, you guys sure fucked things up now.”

Expert psychologist Amy Kent confirmed that God may have entered into stage one of Vengeful Deity Syndrome, cruelty to animals. “Reports out of The Vatican indicate the Pope and several aids sacrificed a lamb in accordance to demands from the angry spirit. That’s the first step, demanding the suffering of others in order to compensate for the loss that he feels inside. If we enter Stage Two, Lashing Out, then His Lordship will probably spontaneously destroy a symbol of our decadence, maybe Los Angeles, something like that. Stage Three, Purge and Rebuild, well, that’s a biggie. Not a lot of people have witnessed that stage to conclusion.”

Reports from Wall Street indicate startling rises in the stocks of companies dealing with fire and/or brimstone.


Back Issues of The Slanderer

Funny Links:
Digital Comedy Nipple
Humorsource.com
FALnet - Humor For Smart People With Bad Taste
Gesellschaft University
Comedy On Tap
The Funny Page
Real Humour - The UK Humour Portal
The Humour UK Network
HumorLinks.com
TheFunniest
theFunniestPics.com
Mate in a State

Email Us

© 2001 Brian Kyle. All Rights Reserved