Disgruntled Denny’s dishwasher Kim Lee yesterday explained the hurt that has been caused him by positive stereotyping. “Man, it’s a total fucking bummer, like that time my Korn, Life Is Peachy CD got all scratched ‘cause Darryl was so fucked up he put it in upside down…yeah, uh, like that.” Kim explains that although his parents both emigrated from China, he was raised in Chicago and is not himself immersed in a new and different culture “A lot of people, ‘cause of my, uh, Asianinity, they think I’m an immigrant working here while I get my computer science degree or something. They just assume I’m a hard worker overcoming all these, uh, barriers and shit. I, uh, I just want to be me.” Just being me, according to Lee and his friends, includes being kicked out of high school for marijuana possession, playing bass in several now defunct bands and “getting totally fucked up like every day is the weekend, or, um, like, Friday night.”

Denny’s Kitchen Manager Art Pirelli explained how Lee was hired. “He just kept nodding and smiling at the interview. Nothing on his application was legible and he looked so confused, man I was positive he was right off the boat. A couple of weeks later when he starts speaking English, well, I figured he was taking classes or something. You know those Asian immigrant’s, they’re very smart and hardworking.” It was only after Lee had failed to prove himself as a dishwasher that Pirelli became suspicious. “He couldn’t figure out the buttons on the dish machine, I mean, there’s only three of them. Every time he’d push the drain button and it would get totally fucked up ‘cause there’s no water. That’s when I figured out he’s a fuckin’ local.”