Using halted English and occasionally the wrong word, Swedish exchange student Sven Arvedson declared that he has trouble understanding the subtle uses of the word ‘fuck’. “It seems to be beyond my understandings scope,” proclaimed the cheery and rosy-cheeked visitor from Uppsala, Sweden. “I am had trouble with so many of it’s uses.” Barely overseas for more than two months, Arvedson already has contemplated giving up on his English studies and returning to Sweden. “If only the teachers in Sweden had telled us about this underground language, where one word has so many meaningses. At times it is a verb, sometimes an adverb, a noun…oh, it is relentlessly confusing but I will struggle and perseverance!”

Arvedson’s sponsors, Jack and Arlene Taylor, felt that Sven would catch on sooner or later. “He’s not as bright as you might think, but he’s learning,” explained Arlene. “It’s kinda like training a dog.” Jack concurred, saying “The other day I told him to get off his lazy Danish ass and get me those fuckin’ smokes - he pretended to be confused but he knew exactly what the fuck I was talking about.”

Al Paxton, Principal at Hamilton High School where Arvedson is enrolled felt that he was fitting in quite well despite the obvious barriers. “Sure there’s stuff in our society that we can’t teach, but that’s why we integrate them wholly. This way he can learn stuff like flirting with the principals daughter will get your fuckin’ head kicked in, you stupid fuckin’ foreigner. At first Sven seemed to not fully comprehend my message, but after uttering those same words day in and day out to him, I feel we’ve reached an understanding.”

“Sven is a real trooper,” explained Student Counselor Trish Stewart. “He’s in here almost every day asking me questions about our fine language. The other day it was ‘does get out of my way you candy ass fuck mean the same as get out of my way you fucking candy ass?’Or this morning he asked me how he could translate the phrase ‘I’m gonna fuck you up and then you’ll see why we don’t like your fuckin’ kind around here you fuckin’ moron’ for a letter to his parents. He’s always learning, that’s for sure.”