In accordance with his last will and testament, The Washington Museum of Man curator Antoine Latour had three of his underlings killed and buried beside him. “It really is quite an honor,” said the widow, Marie Latour. “Just like in ancient times, only the finest were chosen to serve their master in the afterlife.” Mrs. Latour said all four people, as well as the family dog and their Audi, were buried under a large mound of dirt in the Latour’s backyard. “I dressed up everyone in their work clothes and decorated each alcove with job related items like phones, a mop and broom and maps of the museum so that everyone will have the tools to continue their roles on the next plane. Oh, and there’s many a trap for the unsuspecting grave robber as well!”

Police Chief Dan Korson said the three workers were drugged and then strangled by Mrs. Latour, who apparently invited them to her house in the guise of an appreciation party. “I told Merv to stay away from those freaks,” said widow Connie Abbott, who’s husband worked in maintenance at the museum. “At their Christmas party they made everyone strip naked and dance around an evergreen before killing a lamb and drinking it’s steaming blood. Well, it sure didn’t seem Christmassy to me.”

Daniel Barr, co-worker and friend of the Latour’s explained that many historians take on some of the characteristics of those societies they study. “Thou shan’t delve more further into such incident lest I have this summer intern fetch mine armor and sword. Begone ignorant serf and I shall allow thee to keep thine head.”